Lessons From...undergrad.
the work will sustain you || take hold of your education
Ask absolutely any theatre major from Kent State University about Dr. Bank and one phrase will likely come up. Along with the “her class was so hard,” and “I learned SO much,” you will undoubtedly hear this refrain: “The work will sustain you.”
Five years ago, amid career loss and relationship changes and early motherhood, I packed my theatrical library into two impossible to lift purple totes and left them in the basement. As I slid them next to the bins of baby clothes to be donated I heard it in my ear, “The work will sustain you.” But I ignored it, brushed the tears from my cheeks, and shut off the light.
Since that time I have worked as I could. A small contract here, a month-long residency there, a few assists for colleagues, a brief stint teaching theatre in a school…but there was no momentum or trajectory. Just a little creativity and some hope on which to hold.
Creativity is the work. The work is creativity. It can take on many, many forms and even when it is for an audience of yourself, or your toddler, or the trees on your morning walks, the work will persist. You can think of it as a fire to tend or a garden to cultivate, either way, time is not the enemy. The enemy is inattention.
We all have a great capacity for creativity. Truly, I believe we all have a deep need to create. Some of us just have more demonstrative expressions of it. And so, despite my efforts to pack the work away, it has continued to shape my life. I really wouldn’t want it any other way.
Toward the end of my junior year of college I was struggling in Dr. Bank’s class. Dr. Bank taught the theatre history courses at Kent, and at that time theatre majors were required to take all 3 sections that were offered. I went to her after class with a question, but ended up in a discussion about my career path.
“What do you want to do, Ms. Kelley?”
I stammered some “I’m not sure, I don’t know” sort of answer, to which I’m certain she had a quick reply. I found a more honest answer and we continued. Toward the end of our chat I began to bemoan the fact that I was not allowed to take her special topics course since I was (at the time) a musical theatre major. To this Dr. Bank replied with a raised eyebrow and the second phrase that has stuck with me, “Take hold of your education, Ms. Kelley.”
It took me a minute. But that’s what I did. And that’s what I’m doing.
Against all odds (I really struggled throughout undergrad) I’m back in school. And just in time to make everything new happen at once, I’m directing and producing a new play alongside one of my favorite people.
As ever, I’m not taking the most traditional approaches to either endeavor. I believe that by not following a prescribed pathway toward an institutional end goal I allow myself to have more teachers, more collaborators, more contributors to what my work is becoming. It goes without saying that you must then curate this barrage of influence and information, but by not invalidating variances of creative expression (Instagram photos, journal entries, impromptu living room dance parties) or potential teachers (my child, my friends) I have made my education and my work completely my own.
To be “self-made” is actually to be “self-directed” and meaningfully impacted by every aspect of life that one encounters. I never stopped the acts of education and creation; I don’t plan to do so any time soon.